When Cathy’s sister discovered their mother was holding Cathy’s adoption as a secret, she was terrified.
OPINION: I have never been very close to my elder sister, Cathy.
Her character was very different from mine, and we’d rub each other up the opposite way, time and time again. She could be very offensive, very quick to rage, while I’m relaxed and more of an introvert.
When we were rising, people wished to tell we were “like chalk and cheese.” She has dark hair while I am blonde; she is very tall while I am petite. My mother is blonde and my father is a brunette so I always assumed she took it after our father.
However, after dad died quickly 3 years ago from a heart attack, my mother admitted to me that Cathy had been adopted and she has never mentioned to her.
It was a huge responsibility to place on me but she made me swear not to describe her.
I was terrified this secret had been kept for so longspun and I thought Cathy had the right to know, but I assured my mother that I wouldn’t say anything until she believed the time was right.
Cathy is now 40 and she still does not know that she isn’t our parents’ biological daughter.
My mum described to me that she’d lost her first baby to miscarriage and then there was a stillborn baby. They’d attempted to get pregnant for 2 more years with no chance and that’s when they chose to adopt.
They were lucky enough to have Cathy, who was just three months old when she was adopted, but as they were going through the adoption process, mum fell pregnant with me.
Should I narrate Cathy the truth? No, I don’t think it’s up to me — I think my mother should describe her. I would want to know.
She also described to me that Dad had never desired Cathy to understand. They were very close and Mum believes that Dad felt if she knew the truth, it would destroy their relationship.
One thing that will make me say Cathy is when our mother dies. I think the secret is hers to say, and if she hasn’t told Cathy before she dies, the secret will be transferred onto me and that’s when I will describe her.
I don’t want Cathy to spend her whole life without knowing the truth. My mum has put me in such a tough position, I wish she had never informed it to me.